Monday, 13 September 2010

Back to College

I go back to college on Thursday to study for a qualification I don't really want. Exams, assessments, homework, long Thursday evenings and Saturdays of studying something I don't *really* care about to be something I don't really want to be. Going back wasn't the easiest decision but however much I stamp my feet about it I *am* working in finance for now for very good reasons. And if I am working in finance and my employers will pay for it then it would be extremely foolish not to take the last few exams to earn my chartered status. It is one of those 'right' decisions that you don't like very much but sort of have to accept.

Thing is, I dropped out of the exams two years ago somewhat dramatically by basically failing a paper on purpose. The same paper that I'm starting this week. The rational part of me knows I just need to get on with it but the other part of me is already griping. I finally sat down to do my pre-course work and realised that I can't actually access it on this computer. I have four online tests to do by Thursday and haven't even started. The worst thing is deep down I just don't care - it's like being a student again and finishing printing an assignment due at 4pm at 3.59 and sprinting to hand it in. The stupid thing is I'm not a student, I'm a grown-up and that part of me recognises that I need to do it for my career, that my employer won't be happy if I fail but some deeper part is still rebelling against it.

I'm trying to decide if I should get someone to 'mentor' me over it and thrash me in a way I won't like if I get behind or if that's a bad idea. I've never reacted very well to 'real life' discipline, my best friend frequently jokes that I have 'a problem with authority' and it's probably true. Somewhere along the line I got bored of playing by the rules and being the perfect student, bored of life's constrictions and started to see how much I could get away with. Maybe it's gone too far and I should ask someone to help me stay on track for this course. Because in all honesty if I don't pass it won't be because I couldn't, it'll be because I didn't.

7 comments:

Dave_Da_Pirate said...

How about "If you don't work hard for you exams, I will force you to visit Oxford"

(I'm not entirely sure at this point how I would manage to force you to visit Oxford, but hopfully the threat will be enough)

Rebecca said...

You can make me visit Oxford...it might just not be quite the same when I finished :)

Indy said...

Dave, I'd recommend getting at least 10 big guys to help you kidnap Rebecca. Combat gear optional, of course.

Oh, wait, the whole point is to make Rebecca *not* want to fail. Hmmm, I'll have to think about that one...

Seriously, good luck!

Rich said...

How are you coming on that paper? Is it due yet?

I'm going to send you a request for an update. I'd like to know if you are following up on your school work.

Anonymous said...

I am appalled at your attitude to going back to college, Turning down the opportunity given you by your employers!You yourself realise this deep down by saying you need a mentor who will help you and give you the punishment you deserve!
Punishments would be given in front of a two friends who are concered about you.In particular your friend who is 'fixated' on corner time will be in charge of that! a good spanking by slipper to start ,followed by the cane! You would recieve 15 hard strokes bending down with feet apart!I hav no doubt your friend would award at least 1/2 hour keeping still in the corner! Any movement would be noted and she would give you the strap on hands and thighs!This punishment would be repeated as deserved by assessment of work and attitude ! HG

John said...

Rebecca

We don't know each other but we have a couple of mutual friends.

I think you know very well nobody is going to make you do the work for this qualification - you're the only person who can do that. Trying to involve kink in "real life" risks screwing up what's exciting about kinky life... If you try to find a punishment you don't "like" (and we know "like" is an inadequate word in this context) you'll almost certainly end up resenting it and the (presumably) kinky friend who administers it... Which may not be the best thing for your kink life (and won't work anyway because if you were so cowed by punishment you wouldn't be the person I guess you are...).

Doing the work is probably the grown-up thing to do - but you don't need me to tell you that. Good luck with whatever you decide and apologies if any of this sounds patronising.

John

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