Memories...

It's funny how the strangest of things can trigger memories. I was organising my underwear drawer (the one for normal underwear, not the one for super frilly tutu knickers, corsets, camisoles and babydolls - they share a separate drawer with my hair straighteners!) and the whole thing ended up making me feel quite nostalgic.

You see, I almost threw away the knickers that I'd bought to do my first ever scene play with a very good friend. I'd done a little of spanking with a boyfriend at uni but it was my first foray into the wider world. We were going to do a school role-play and reading the uniform requirements I'd realised in horror that I didn't own anything resembling a presentable white bra and pair of knickers. This had led to a frantic search around a well known department store in my parent's town as I was visiting them the previous weekend. I'd found something affordable and quite pretty and my mother had been somewhat bemused if relieved that I was suddenly interested in underwear.

Why relieved? Well because once upon a time there was a girl named Rebecca who owned a vast array of sports bras, an army of faded M&S cotton knickers and an attitude akin to Kiera Knightley in Bend it like Beckham (there's a very funny scene where her mother is waving various lace and gel concoctions at her and she's only interested in sports ones). I did have two nice sets from H&M at the insistence of the first kinky boyfriend but neither of them was white and one was falling apart. It seems pretty funny given the size of my lingerie collection these days, which seems to expand exponentially despite my best efforts to be good.

I remember the scene very well. I'd met the gentleman (who was none other than Jessica's lovely HWMBO) and Jessica for drinks, got pretty merry and thought they were both rather fabulous, if slightly scary. They thought I was a News of the World reporter and I went bright red and mumbled every time anyone mentioned spanking. I nervously accepted an invitation to play with HWMBO and got increasingly nervous after a separate bad IC experience. At that stage in the game I was very body conscious and remember being horribly embarrassed when Jessica came with me to get changed into my uniform. We had a lovely play, I got some very pretty bruises and stripes, blushed a lot, he was charming about it and Rebecca Williams was born. All after I nearly scared the poor man to death by fainting at the realisation that this was actually happening and I was in the house of someone I'd met once in outer London dressed as a school girl and about to be whacked. A week or two later I found myself anxiously looking for a suspender belt in La Senza (I'd thought no one had them anymore - alas poor innocent) as I'd been told to wear stockings and suspenders for another scene and freaking out slightly as I didn't really know what to do with it and everything seemed expensive. I bought a little black flimsy thing that I still have, though was quickly advised by more experienced girls that metal clips and stockingshq were the way forward.

I threw away the bra and one of the pairs of knickers from that set in my last clear out and this pair is sitting looking melancholy on my dresser. I don't wear them anymore, they're a bit grey (though still pretty - very modest at the back with a see through lace panel at the front - Mr S was shocked!) but in a weird way they almost seem to represent something. Perhaps I'll pop them back in the drawer but I don't know if that's a bit silly.

I guess that play and the associated knickers were the start of lots of things really. A lot of fantastic new friends and some playmates that I really care about, forays into fetish clubs, and fabulous playdays and weekends being everything from a school girl to a regency lady, reformatory inmate or chateau girl amongst other things. A gradual process of getting more in touch with my feminine side, accepting my curves and developing an obsession with beautiful lingerie, vintage lace and frilly things. I think the wonderful people are the biggest thing though - am having an odd moment of nostalgia!