Inappropriate...

The hotel that we are hosting our annual workshop in is partly old and colonial, which has led to not a few inappropriate thoughts when the planning meetings get too stupefying. It's hardly fair to put me in a 150 year old colonial building that was originally a ballroom and is now used for conferences and to expect me to focus very well on presentations and the best position for the podium. My thoughts drifted back to the Rebecca I might have been 150 years ago - I suspect I'd still want to travel and be somewhat adventurous (something I get from my parents who are only just beginning to be able to do) and imagined arriving in the country as the wife of an ambassador or perhaps daughter of an ambitious merchant. The balls I'd have attended in that prestigious ball room, the arguments when I baulked against safety concerns in a foreign land and the inevitable consequences.

Living a double life can take a toll. Some people manage to merge the real life and bdsm sides of their lives reasonably well - they work in the arts or live an outwardly alternative lifestyle. For me that's just not the case and I take a perverse pleasure in being the last person that people would suspect. The model girl next door or altruistic career girl. It just gets very surreal when I'm reeling from a big scene or my mind is drifting to baser fantasies and then you snap back into it. I'm meeting some overseas colleagues for the first time and have somehow convinced them that I'm competent and there's the possibility of a job in Australia...but I could hardly mention 'what's the fetish scene like' in a discussion about practicalities with one of them. Although the possibilities for transportation scenarios are rather limitless...

I belatedly realised that yesterday was my 100th post - not many in over a year but I have had a bit of a hiatus recently so still a bit of a milestone I guess - but enough of the rambling!