Sunday, 13 February 2011

Little Victories

This week has been a really hard week. For no real reason I've been exhausted, struggling to get out of bed in the morning and wanting nothing more than to collapse by the time 5 o'clock rolls around. Work has been incredibly stressful with a lot of uncertainty around whether or not I was heading off to Africa for weeks only resolved a few days before I fly. The novelty of being in a new country and a new flat has worn off and left me missing friends at home, the familiar grime of my London commute and staples like Marmite, Look Magazine and proper Cadburys chocolate. Then yesterday to make things worse my auntie went into hospital with a stroke and the guilt of not being there for my family has been pretty unbearable.

Therefore it's been a week for small victories. Making myself go rowing and play mixed netball with strangers when all I really wanted to do was go home and eat ice cream. Taking getting into the office on time and putting in nine or ten hours as a victory in itself. Accepting 'cleaning the flat' as an activity and that actually it's alright for the shiny floors and surfaces to be the achievement of the day. Picking myself up, prettifying myself and heading out to meet lovely new friends for dinner and cabaret because staying at home wouldn't make it any better. Feeling incredibly lucky to have met lovely people who have been so supportive - thank you Star and Eternity. Trying to take the pressure off myself a little and to accept that I can't make everything work overnight and don't have to.

Anyway, it is a new week tomorrow and rather an exciting one. I'm off to Tanzania and then Kenya for work. I've not been feeling great about it because I'm still settling in here and in honesty would rather go to Eternity's birthday do and get stuck into rowing and netball. However I'm determined to make the most of it and have plans to head to Zanzibar next weekend - somewhere that has haunted my dreams for years (since a gap year visit was aborted after a mountain biking accident). With any luck I'll also find some adventures in Nairobi!

Not to mention I'm going to have lots of flying time - so I promise to have written some new fiction by next week as I've been procrastinating for far, far too long. I would say if I don't you can spank me but I'm on totally the wrong continent - so there!


Abel1234 said...

Best wishes for you auntie, and have a wonderful trip to Tanzania. Stone Town in particular is somewhere I've always wanted to go. Hugs!

Rayne said...

*hugs* Bravo Rebecca - victories are victories, even little ones! :D Wishing you well in East Africa - I have been only once and loved it! Hakuna matata :)