We all go to some dark places, places that on one level we seek to avoid but on another are compelled to explore. Places that take you beyond the 'nice' side of the scene, beyond the characters we hide behind and onto something deeper. Sometimes characters can guide the way but it's somewhere you have to allow your real self to go, something you have to admit is what you need and allow yourself to yield to.
Sometimes we all need to break a little bit, to go past the banter and joking and on to shakier ground. We have to let the thing we do pierce the surface into who we really are, what we want but most of all what we fear. It can be a tone of voice that takes us from lighter things into what lies beneath, it can be a planned punishment or sometimes it can be entirely unintentional and happen when playing just strikes a chord.
It's cathartic crying, giving in and quietly atoning. An interesting facet of many submissives is that we're closet perfectionists and want everything to be just so. It's not enough to score nine shots in life out of ten, we want the full set. It's not enough to be good at our jobs, have friends we adore, do some good in the world and to be healthy - we want to be the best we can and to rest assured that we've left no stone unturned in the pursuit of opportunity. The problem is often you can't live up to your demands upon yourself and hate yourself for not quite making the grade. That's when you need to break a little bit because it's cathartic, to cry about the open door left unexplored and to tell yourself that it's ok not to be perfect. Just sometimes you need that sort of catharsis and chance to let it all go. Sometimes.