Is something that I widely acknowledge is not as much fun as I thought it would be when I was six and insistent that I could eat a 'big persons' meal. I've done it quite well though, and on occasions even convince myself that this grown-up Rebecca taking on the world is in fact real. Then I throw my toys because working is inconvenient to holiday plans, or go out dancing and drinking too many mojitos and am happily reminded that I've yet to become one of 'them' aka a grown-up.
Had a very odd experience earlier with the girls I'm coaching when something really horrible happened, cue floods of tears. In all honestly I was as upset as they were but found myself being the calming influence and systematically building them back up to go out to bat again tomorrow. Whilst this was successful and went well it has left me with a horrible 'maybe I have grown up feeling after all' feeling, which made me feel a bit sad. So I rang the boy interest for a chat which made me feel slightly better.
I have decided that the only way in which to counter-act this is by creating as much mayhem and being as childish as possible this weekend when I meet up with uni friends. If I want to dress in an outrageously small dress in the cold, go on a bouncy castle in my bike dress, get sloshed in Pimms and then narrowly avoid cycling into the river I shall...
Am also thinking I need a proper thrashing so I can just let go and cry. Is it a bit odd that being beaten appears to have a similar calming effect to a massage on me?