Monday, 15 June 2009

Some of them want to be abused...

Do you ever really want someone to hurt you?

Not just a little bit so you moan and wriggle a bit but to make you struggle, cry or bite your lip until it bleeds? To go through the barrier where you stop struggling and just accept? I have an odd relationship with pain - I'm wary of it and sometimes I fear it but sometimes I also crave it and the adrenaline and subsequent calm that comes with it.

A big part of me loves playing without serious pain too so I think I'm masochistic rather than a proper masochist. I love the good girl spankings, sensual play, less painful varieties of bondage and teasing and they all take me to very good places. Done in the right way places where I purr and float away quite happily whilst people spank, tie or do other rude things to me.

Sometimes I want it to hurt though - I want to fight, cry, swear and protest and then eventually accept it. A lot of my hottest fantasies of this genre have a strong element of power imbalance - I dream of being the discovered stowaway on a sadistic captains ship (more on this another time!), the unruly inmate of a reform school with no real way out, having been captured by pirates or bandits or being the daughter of a powerful chief who has been kidnapped by a rival as a bargaining chip - he'll hurt me but not cause any permanent damage. This type of scene can be hard for my playmates as I really will give them hell until my character decides to accept things but have also given me some of my hottest scenes. I find it harder to take lots of pain doing the type of scene where it's my character's choice to let someone do things to her - a part of me likes the fight I think, though it might be something proprietous on a deeper level. The best scenes are the ones where I sort of end up floating above the pain, my tolerance goes through the roof and I just want more. Yummy. Scary but yummy :)


Jessica said...

Hmmm. A difficult one for the dom to deal with I think. I agree, it is very hot when it works, but when I am topping, I am always slightly wary of taking someone to far.
On the sub side, I like the situation where it *has* to happen as oppose to *want* it to. That's the fun bit!

Master Retep said...

Agree with Jessica. The best Doms are the caring ones so Rebecca's deepest desires are the scariest for the Dom too.

Kami Robertson said...

"Do you ever really want someone to hurt you?Not just a little bit so you moan and wriggle a bit but to make you struggle, cry or bite your lip until it bleeds?"

Oh yes, too often, but I think I'm getting used to that ;)

But I agree with what was said before me, it must be difficult for doms/tops to deal with it. Lucky those who found the one that can deal with with less difficulty ;)