Ouch...

I must not buy stupid presents...
I must not buy stupid presents...
I must not buy stupid presents...

Because if you buy a top hitty things, the odds are that you will get hit with them at some point.

The boy interest is fan of the hand of doom, as he rather smugly said "It has a good weight to it but is easy to control." He started off giving me ten strokes but the situation rapidly deteriorated to him holding me down and hitting me continuously with it, which resulted in lots of wriggling and yelping. The wriggling and yelping wasn't very effective but the eventually collapsing onto my tummy and asking him nicely to stop was.

It is actually a surprisingly effective implement as it's made of a very heavy wood but is short enough and small enough to be easy to control - which appears to equate to hitting Rebecca lots.

Still, you can judge the damage for yourself :)

Kinky snippets...

From a bad girl's brain. Sometimes I get just a few images of a scene in my head but don't quite know the full story. Some of them are hot enough to be worth sharing though.

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I don't quite know who she is. She could be the daughter of a rival knight, taken in a raid. Or perhaps a wilful fiance. I don't think she's a servant, something about the sweep of her neck.

The castle is old, grey stones that lack the uniformity of modern bricks. Corridors lit by ornate braziers, the stone floors covered with beautiful but well worn carpets in deep shades of purple and red. The doors leading off the corridors are heavy oak bevelled with sturdy metal fittings.

She waits in the room at the end of the corridor, bound naked and spread-eagled on a huge four poster bed. Her hair spills down her pale shoulders and onto the richly coloured bedspread. Her bottom, raised by a bolster already bears the signs of his displeasure, the meaning of those marks will be evident to anybody passing by. Outside the sky is dark and it is raining heavily, she cannot help but think that the weather is as black as his mood.

Heavy treads down the corridor and she senses that he is standing beside her. He is tall and well muscled, as you would expect of a fighting man. He exchanges no words with her but trails his whip between her shoulder blades and down her back, she shivers. Then with no warning he lashes down, branding another burning welt across her bottom...

Multiple usage...

I ask you people seriously - do you think that these were seriously designed to be salad tongs...or designed as punishment implements and then sold as a pair to create the illusion that they could be used as salad tongs...Thoughts on a postcard!

Still Truculent...

Rebecca ended up in Detention with Mr Shafebotham one Tuesday night (much to her horror - balmy summer nights are clearly for drinking gin and tonic under a starry sky, not writing lines).

Rebecca hadn't actually done anything horribly wrong, it was more to do with her general attitude, which had been causing no small amount of trouble. Sitting waiting in the empty classroom and reading the detention rules, Rebecca was less than impressed - no talking, no rearranging her clothing and raising her hand if she wished to speak all equated to very much not cool. The rather imposing list of detention protocol on the blackboard did little to make her feel any better

1. Spanking 2. Paddle 3. Lines 4. Light Tawse 5. Belt 6. Lines 7. Strap 8. XH Tawse (2 tails) 9. XH Tawse (3 tailes) 10. Lines 11. Junior Cane 12. Senior Cane 13. Lines 14. Dragon Cane

In fact, by the time the Headmaster entered the room Rebecca was rather cross - she hadn't done anything after all. This meant that the detention didn't get off to the best start. Rebecca was somewhat argumentative and cheeky and ended up getting whacked with the wooden paddle (for breaking the rules) before the detention had even really begun.

Next Rebecca found herself over the Headmaster's knee for a spanking to start the detention, feeling extremely embarrassed to be over his knee, and worse with her knickers around her thighs. There was also the alarming realisation that this actually *hurts* a lot, and was only the begining, which was reinforced by the '1. Spanking' being ticked off on the blackboard. The paddle followed, coupled with much protesting and then some lines.

Rebecca was still being less than compliant about the whole process so ended up getting the wooden paddle again before moving onto the light tawse (which Rebecca noted was not very light at all!). It should be emphasised that Rebecca is not a fan of wooden implements in general but despite this when she is in a rebellious mood they do little to act as an incentive to behave. The belt hurt Rebecca quite a lot but not enough to stop her from earning extra strokes for being cheeky.

It was in writing the next set of lines that Rebecca came up with a cunning plan - as any outward signs of attitude such as answering back, rearranging her clothing, pouting (one of Rebecca's favourite pasttimes) and slouching were verboten she would do it another way - by writing her lines as slow as humanly possible. This seemed like an excellent idea, even when Mr Shaftebotham tawsed her hands for being so slow - she could hardly write more quickly when her hands were so sore could she now?!

Rebecca suspected that the Headmaster laid the strap on more heavily than he might have done otherwise in response to his frustration at the speed of her line writing. She wriggled and yelped through the dozen strokes with each the two and three tailed XH tawses and mentally resolved herself to write even more slowly the next time.

In the next set of lines Rebecca took almost 25 minutes to write ten lines, which she considered a great triumph despite getting the tawse on her hands again. She could sense the palpable frustration in the Headmaster and took great delight in pointing out that she couldn't write any faster because he had made her hands hurt so much - it was his fault that this was taking so long - not hers.

This may have been a sign of total lack of common sense as Rebecca found herself bending over for the junior cane. This slashed down but Rebecca took it quite well - twenty five minutes is after all a good rest and if offered the choice (which never happens) Rebecca prefers the cane to the great big heavy tawses anyway. The senior cane was somewhat harder but Rebecca managed to stay down for all of the strokes and to count them and thank Mr Shaftebotham for them without sounding too sarcastic.

Then Rebecca was faced with more lines, which she once again wrote terribly slowly. The problem was that Rebecca was actually getting rather bored of writing so very slowly - it is really quite hard work to draw out a seven word line for almost five minutes. So when the teacher's back was turned she sneakily began to write more quickly, making sure to slow down (to make her point) whenever he turned around to check on her.

Still, it didn't make sense to finish too quickly as all poor Rebecca had to look forward to was the Dragon Cane. She stretched out over the desk reaching up onto her tip toes and took a deep breath and then slowly counted each stroke from one to twelve and thanked the Headmaster, somewhat more sincerely this time. They hurt a lot but Rebecca stayed put and didn't squeak too much. Afterwards Rebecca promised to show less attitude (with a bit of a pout).

The final note in the detention report read 'still truculent' :-)

One of the things that I find interesting about role play is that your character can take over. I was actually in quite a good mood but as soon as I got into my school uniform and received the detention note I became quite grumpy, and almost 'up for a fight'. This can be quite good fun as it tends to give that sort of scene a bit of energy and also psyche me up for taking more. I *hate* the wooden paddle but having it as a discentive didn't make Rebecca bat an eyelid, nor did the strict rules - at that point I was utterly outraged that I was being dealt with so harshly when I hadn't done anything wrong and determined to get this across at any cost.

Afterwards we had a nice cuddle and a giggle over me writing so slowly as Mr S had actually noticed that I was speeding up when he wasn't looking at the end! It's interesting though because on another occasion Rebecca could easily have been much more apologetic and upset but on that particular night she wasn't...

F*ck you very much...

Someone is cruising for a bruising and for once it's not me. Having survived a rather interesting week I decided to go for a swim before dinner and trundled merrily up to the pool. I spent sixty lengths (it's a very small pool) dodging four extremely irritating teenage boys who appeared to be permeanently stationary except when deliberately getting in my way - they would sit there and then suddenly launch themselves in front of me mid-length. This was very annoying but I did manage to 'accidentally' kick two of them which went some way towards compensating for the annoyance.

Still, having bashed up and down for about forty minutes I was feeling refreshed, until I got into my bathroom to discover that the hotel staff (who had thus far been impeccable) had for some reason neglected to leave any towels - which is bizarre as I've had about lots until today. I phoned the reception and politely asked for one. Thirty minutes later no towel. I phoned housekeeping directly and asked for one quite nicely. Fifteen minutes later no towel and a very grumpy Rebecca. I phoned reception again and asked for one somewhat less politely - two minutes later apologetic man arrives with four, and becomes even more apologetic when I answer the door in my bikini and goosebumps.

In my mind it was all a grand plot - the boys at the pool had bribed a maid to remove my towels (probably because I kept giving them evils when they jumped on me). I can only hope that the hotel manager discovered this plot and gave her a good hiding, and that the pool staff reported to the boys' fathers that they had been behaving so badly and they got thrashed too...no in case you are wondering I'm not in the best of moods today!

To be honest the pool boys and the towels aren't that big a deal. Even that I barely got a thank you for running around after thirty people all week whilst suffering from the flu isn't that big a deal - I'm getting paid and have a beautiful room with a bed big enough for at least four Rebeccas and lots of yummy meals. Being fairly recently of university this is a bit of a treat. I have some cool pressies for my friends and flatmates too, which is nice. No spankings (which may have contributed towards my grumpiness) but you can't have everything...Actually in Bangkok you probably can but am not sure it would be wise to go looking!

What has really f*cked me off today is that two people who I thought were really good friends have badly let me down. Friends for whom I've dropped everything to pick up the pieces when things go wrong, listened to their problems, tried to find nice ways to cheer them up and organised things around what suits them. So I'm feeling pretty upset. It's not that I expect anything in return but it would be nice if they could at least not screw me over because something else has come along.

That's the thing - I try so hard to be nice to people and to be there for them when they need me - I'm a girl's girl who will drop dates to be there with chocolate, wine and a sympathetic ear; or for a drunken night out when friends need me. No questions asked - that's what friends do. So it hurts a lot when people who I think are good friends treat me like that. I have a lot of friends and love meeting new people but only have few that I feel really close to. Probably because at the end of the day those are the ones who can hurt you - and who wants to get hurt?

So for today no more nice girl - may they be visited with thrashings of the not nice variety. Or at least may I not be stupid enough to blow other people out or in fact just lose sleep to look after them next they have a crisis.

Cocks, Condoms and sickly bunnies

I have been a bit remiss in posting as I have been a sickly bunny and totally excelled myself in managing to come down with the flu in a big way whilst in Bangkok. Everyone is swine flu mad here so spent most of yesterday at the hospital where after some time it was established that I have normal flu, not swine flu - panic over! However me and my friend came up with something quite funny - they are also still a bit paranoid about bird flu here and she commented that it would almost be worth getting both as then you could say that you had flying pig flu! Can you imagine the headlines?!


We went to the best restaurant ever - it is run by a charity offering HIV and sexual health services and called Cabbages and Condoms. There are whole people, flowers and statues made out of condoms and they give you a condom instead of a mint at the end of the meal. I'm wondering if we could start a similar model in the UK - Steaks and Spankings in aid of the education of delinquent girls?


I'm in Bangkok - which is a silly name as it is but was still a bit surprised to find a stall near my hotel that literally sold wooden cocks. I am debating buying one as a comedy souvenir for a friend but am not quite sure how I'd fare getting it through customs or quite how I'd explain the purchase to my colleagues if they somehow saw it! There is also a large billboard advertising 'The future of masturbation' which is some sort of male sex aid, various female arousal aids where chewing gum would normally sit in the supermarket and condoms in my hotel bathroom! It's probably just as well I'm feeling sickly otherwise I'd probably be able to think of nothing but sex all week!

I have seen some other potentially kinky purchases though - particularly super cute hair bows that would go down a treat with 'school friends' and some rather interesting underwear. I'm not sure about that though - I'm not a big girl but still bigger than most Thais! Am still in search of suitable implements but we are going to the weekend market hopefully on Saturday so maybe I'll find something then...

Breaking the bar tab..

It's a funny thing being a grown-up organising an event for a large number of people on foreign shores - you really have to think of everything! You see, we are having a bar tab tonight for participants and one of the issues discussed was how to stop other people accessing the tab - they are going to have to show their shiny new name badges. The coordinator was somewhat bemused that I thought that this might be a problem...

I suppose they say that the best way to catch a criminal is to use a criminal...you see in my student days my best friend and I were backpacking and once wandered into a posh hotel and settled ourselves down by the pool. We then proceeded to order drinks and charged them to a random room number figuring that:

a) Someone rich enough to stay there probably wouldn't notice a few cheeky cocktails; and

b) If they did then it really was the bar staff's fault for being stupid enough to serve us without a key or cotton onto the fact that we were far too scruffy to have been staying there.

Late last night my mind was wandering to how that situation could have turned out. Just as we ordered our third cosmopolitans at the bar, blithely giving the room number 227 I was tapped on the shoulder by a tall, dark gentleman (this is my fantasy ok...). It turned out that he was in fact staying in room 227 and less than impressed that we had been running up his bill. We were given a choice - he could report us to the hotel who would call the police or we could allow him to deal with it in a more traditional way.

Reluctantly we followed him into the lift, and rose up through the floors to the penthouse suite. He bent us both over the chaise lounge and explained that there was an excellent local way of dealing with such outrageous behaviour before ordering us to drop our bikini bottoms. At this point a bit of an argument took place, which ended in us conceding that we didn't have much choice - after all at least he was fit. We held hands as he gave us six strokes each with the local malaca cane, one for each drink ordered. Then he pulled our bikinis back up, commented that you could see the stripes on either side of the bottoms and escorted us out of the hotel and into the street...

Technical query - can anyone post from their iPhone? I can do titles and tags but it won't let me write in the box? Help! Hugs and spanks xx

Wanderlust...

As a teenager I was obsessed with the idea of travelling. Not cruises, 5 star hotels or trips to New York though - I devoured travel literature and dreamt of turning up in strange and exotic places with just a backpack and my dreams. Bangkok, Annapurna, Kathmandu, Bhutan, Machu Picchu, Zanzibar and Mozambique were all places that haunted me. I remember sitting around a campfire at Leeds Festival age 15 listening with rapture to a couple of guys talk about backpacking around South East Asia whilst a girl with dreads laughed and called it the tourist trail and talked about overlanding in Africa. I was wildly jealous and begged my parents to let me go the following summer but was met with a sharp no.

I spent my A-level years working a bizarre array of jobs to save up for my gap year, which was spent volunteering in South America and Malawi (I taught at a school and lived in a little hut nearby where being woken up by monkeys running across the roof was the norm). Whilst at university I managed a couple of shorter trips and dreamt of working for a charity abroad and making the world a better place.

Then the reality of student debts kicked in, coupled with the horrible realisation that I wasn't really qualified to do anything terribly useful - my teenage dreams of building refugee camps were a little unrealistic to say the least. So I did the boring corporate thing for a couple of years and hated it.

Now I am working for a charity that operates in the developing world and am off to Bangkok today to run a capacity building workshop. I'm struggling a little with the concepts of staying in a hotel, airport transfers, travelling with a case and packing suits. I mean what's that all about? I remember arriving in Bangkok four years ago in my second year of university and filled with excitement. I was meeting a friend who'd been working in Australia and who wouldn't arrive for a couple of days and flew in on the red eye, arriving early in the morning. I battled my way past the touts offering taxis and air conditioned mini buses and caught a packed local bus, got off at the wrong place but finally found my way to Khao San Road, which had been somewhere of mythical acclaim to my teenage self.

It was quiet - nothing much is happening at 7am and I remember being a little disappointed - it was all rather touristy but spending twenty minutes arguing with someone and finally taking a room in a bog standard hostel. I slept for about an hour then was off exploring. The photo above is one of my favourite 'me' photos. We were only in Thailand for a couple of days (too touristy) then headed off to Vietnam.

So it's strange to be going back in a 'business' capacity. However, what I'm doing is really valuable - these days international development has accepted that actually the locals are far more qualified to build their schools and clinics than we are and charities focus on skills training and capacity building - which is what I'm off to do. I'm still packing my flipflops and thai pants though and hoping I'll escape for a few hours at some point. Apparently there is a phallic temple - I'll try to get pictures.

Sorry that this post hasn't been about spanking at all but I will have lots of time in hotel rooms and airport lounges to muse on that. :) But you may not hear too much from me for a day or two!

Not stupid just fluffy...

Or a bit of a rant. I'm mostly very much a girls' girl - friends come first, I hug people far too much and hold a secret belief that a girly night in with wine and chocolate can cure most of the world's ills. I don't really intellecutalise too much, and can be a bit what you see is what you get. I wear lots of pink, lots of glitter and tend to get over-excited.

However, I am not stupid and it drives me mad when people act as if I am just because I'm giggling over a Cosmopolitan cocktail and don't have a deeply thought out argument for everything that I come across in life. If I want to have deep conversation about something I can (and do) but I don't want to do that all the time. In reality I have an excellent degree and other qualifications - I just don't always feel like adopting university supervisions as my conversational style. Equally just because I'm fluffy most of the time doesn't mean I'm a pushover or can't fight my own corner when I want to (as anyone unfortunate to come up against me in my full contact kickboxing days would testify). I just choose to be nice most of the time, life's more fun that way. Doesn't mean I'm a bimbo...

Fond farewells

We'd had a nice evening out on the town - gone to the cinema and then to a lovely restaurant for Thai food and cocktails. We got home and sat in the living room, chatting convivially with one of my flatmates and her other half and drinking coffee. Then he told me to go and get ready and wait for him in the bedroom (one of the joys of a kinky flat is that this type of command doesn't cause raised eyebrows).

I changed into pretty underwear - pink satin knickers and bra with big bows between my breasts and above my bottom and black stockings and knelt on my bed and waited. I could hear people still chatting in the living room and shifted about nervously on the bed. The door handle clicked and he stood above me, smiling in approval. He lifted my chin and kissed me once and then settled himself on the bed and manoeuvred me over his lap.

He started spanking me quite gently and lecturing me for being naughty, even though we both knew I hadn't done anything particularly heinous. The large bow on my bottom was somewhat hampering proceedings so my knickers soon made their way down my thighs, which is when I really started to protest - what a waste of pretty underwear! He pinned my neck into the bed and started spanking me harder, stopping every so often to rub my bottom or stroke my hair. I was purring as much as whimpering and well aware that I was being spoiled.



He rolled me off his lap and got me to lie on my tummy on the bed and started running our new flogger up and down my back, bottom and legs. I sighed contentedly, this was very nice. Then suddenly he bought it down hard on my bottom, which was a bit of a shock and I squeaked but concurred that it was a good purchase. He started flogging my bottom hard enough to sting but not agonisingly hard and we got into a sort of rhythm. My room is very small - the bed takes up half the floorspace and my mirror is directly opposite. I don't normally like watching myself play because I worry about the wobbly bits but I could just see the curve of my back and buttocks, his outline and the flogger falling down on my bottom and found that watching was actually turning me on.

He swapped for the heavier flogger suddenly, which knocked the breath out of me. It's got longer and heavier falls and so is less stingy but more thuddy but still quite nice to play with. I floated off in the sensation as he alternated between flogging my back, bottom and the backs of my thighs. It was all at that level where it hurts but in a good controllable way and you're well aware the the top is playing with you rather than punishing you. It all felt wonderfully self-indulgent in comparison to some heavier scenes I've done recently.

Then he ordered me to kneel up and a bit of tactical positioning occurred to give him room to swing (there's a chest of drawers next to my bed at one end and dresser at the other so only just enough room to swing a cat). He tapped a cane at the insides of my thighs, telling me to spread them and then pushing them further apart. My head was down in the duvet and I felt very exposed, and remember looking up to check we'd closed the blinds.

He started to cane me, little taps to start with, warning me that he wanted to try out the new dragon cane. I whimpered, he laughed and gave me a couple of strokes in earnest and traced them with his finger before starting to cane me properly. I gasped and sighed as the cane landed repeatedly across my bottom, harder now as he worked his way down from the crest of my buttocks to just below the crease, which seemed a particular target for attention. I'm not sure how many I got but I think probably in the region of 30ish, maybe a few more. I was quite spacey and very much enjoying the moment rather than wanting to keep count.

When he stopped he pulled me back across his lap and traced the lines with his fingers, proclaiming satisfaction with the cane. Then we did some other things that I'm not going to write about. Am feeling a little sad as he's away this week and doesn't return until after I head off on a ten day business trip with work (yes there are people out there foolish enough to trust me with that sort of thing!).

It did get me thinking about the different types of play session though. There are actual punishments, which are painful and horrible but tend to make you feel cared for afterwards. There are play punishments, for example as part of roleplays which can be similar to real punishments but may not make you feel as guilty at the time because beneath your character you aren't actually guilty of anything. There are 'just because' whackings which vary a lot depending on the top and sub, not to mention punishments for trivial things, which are really just an excuse to smack someone or to get spanked. Then there are the more sensual sessions. And probably lots more that I can't think of, all nice, scary and painful in their own ways. :-)

The Lowewood post that wasn't...

Inspired by Faye's recent posting of a Lowewood post that she didn't use I thought I would post one of mine that never made it onto the blog. Unlike Faye it wasn't because I couldn't make it fit but because it was pulled. To put the post into context it was written to go up the day after William and Roderick busted the Halloween party in the woods and succeeded in bribing Cassie and Sera to attend to them in return for not dropping the entire lower sixth in it with the teachers.

Over drinks a few of us had discussed the post, and decided that it would include blow-jobs and be pretty dark. That posed a challenge for me because Cassie wasn't a dark character (at that stage she was mostly found swinging through windows and collapsing cakes) and I hadn't written that sort of post before. Once I got writing I discovered another hurdle - there was no was that Cassie as a character would just sweetly decide to go down on De Lacey (their brief flirtation having ended with Cassie choosing Simon over him). However that's what we'd discussed was going to happen and so I found myself going down a very dark road indeed and writing something extremely dark that made somewhat uncomfortable reading.

However, I was pleased with it - it was dark, which had been my aim and pretty true to the characters I felt. So I was more than a little angry when it got replaced by a post from Mr S inferring that Cassie and Sera were happily getting it on with William and Roderick and nobody told me until it was too late to input. Some fairly heated discussions about whether or not it was a rape and the levels of misogyny in the post. I calmed down enough to redraft my post for the following week to fit in with the new post only to find another post on a spare day landing Cassie and Sera with a caning and Headmasters report, leading to another redraft and pique of upset and fury on my part because I'd been trying to keep Cassie out of too much 'official' trouble and nobody had told me that the post was happening. In the end we all moved on but it was a very stressful week or two.

Retrospectively it was far too dark for the blog, which was after all focused on school scenes, making that level of language and non-consent inappropriate. The poor editors faced a difficult job dealing with writer's egos whilst keeping the blog ticking over for the readers. At that point in time posts were due in 9pm the night before (that particular one was sent at 6.25pm) and there could hardly be a 'hold the date whilst the writing team debate content' message so the post didn't go up. Lack of time for rewrites was one of the difficult things - at the time I was insistent that the post could be salvaged, and it could have been with time but as the editors pointed out that was the one thing we didn't have. God knows how they coped with it all - that was my only major posting trauma but I know there were others with various characters along the way. Patience of saints is all that I can say...

It did make me nervous about writing darker posts - to the point I made it clear that I didn't want to write a prefect's council post this year in case I cocked it up again. Instead I wrote the orgy post, which was equally difficult as steamy scenes are something I find very hard to write. Thankfully that wasn't pulled :)

Still, as a stand-alone 'out-cut' I thought that people might like to read the Halloween post. Bear in mind that this was set in October 2008 when Cassie and Sera had thrown a Halloween party in the woods and been busted by William and Roderick who they hadn't invited. Cassie had been briefly romanced by William the previous summer but chosen Simon Hopkins (he of the naked river dance fame) over him, which didn't go down so well with William. This post was prior to some of the issues that came out later in the year when Cassie and Sera were still both pretty young and innocent (in some respects anyway!).

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Trick or Treat…

“Just one more before we go?” I looked at Sera pleadingly.

“I’ve had enough but you go ahead” she sighed and raised the bottle to pour me another shot. I really wasn’t sure I could go through with this; William was a nob and would be all too delighted to get his revenge on me for rejecting his advances. Roderick was a junior nob, or a ‘NIT- nob in training’ and equally obnoxious. I voiced this to Sera and we sort of half giggled, it didn’t seem quite as funny as it would have done under other circumstances.

“I think I’m going to be sick, are we actually going through with this?” I whispered. We were both standing outside William’s door but neither of us could quite find the will to knock.

“For God’s sake don’t vom now, though I’d love to see William’s face if you spewed all over his shoes. I don’t th…”

At that point the door opened to frame a smirking William.

“Why ladies, why the hesitation, do come in” he drawled before taking a step forward, twisting my wrist back on itself and propelling me through the door and onto Harry’s bed. I shuddered, remembering last time I’d been here.

“Welcome to our party girls, why don’t you let me pour you a drink?” Roderick said with a smile, which somehow made him look even more unpalatable. I just nodded then gasped as William yanked my hair to pull my head back and then whispered

“Haven’t they taught you please and thank you yet Cassandra? I don’t blame you for wanting a little Dutch courage…you’re going to need it. What about you Townsend, fancy one of our cocktails?” There was a particular emphasis on the word ‘cock’ which made me nervous.

“You can keep those to yourself William, I’ll pass.”

“Your choice, I just hope you don’t regret it later.”

I have to say it wasn’t much of a party. Sera and I sat holding hands on Harry’s bed whilst the pair of them did a bizarre double-act extolling what a wonderful party it was and how delightful the company. I necked that cocktail and decided against requesting another, my head was swimming and I just wanted them to do whatever they had in their twisted minds and get out of there.

“Now, we thought we could play a little game of ‘trick or treat’ with you girls, won’t that be fun.” William said smiling evilly and I gulped, suddenly getting on with it didn’t seem so attractive.

“Naturally, this will be a treat for us, and a trick, or even possibly a bit of a trial for you two.” Roderick added.

“Now let’s get those dresses off shall we, wouldn’t want you getting too hot, we’re not in the woods tonight after all, are we?”

“No fucking way you tosser, I won’t do it.” There was no way I was getting my kit off in front of those lecherous bastards, just no way. Sera stood silently beside me and William stepped towards me.

“Are you absolutely sure you don’t want to play Cassie” he said, stroking my face and I shuddered.

“I’m not taking my clothes off, end of story, you can whack us if that gets your sorry rocks off but no.” I wasn’t sure whether it was my fight kicking back in or the booze talking. William nodded to Roderick and suddenly he had both my arms pinned behind my back.

“Wrong answer I’m afraid” William whispered, pulling a knife from his pocket. As I opened my mouth to scream Roderick clamped his hand over it as William slowly and deliberately cut my dress from neck to hem. I stood very still as he ran the knife from my tummy upwards and cut my bra between the cups.

“For arguing, you stupid tart. Now, are you going to play or not?” he asked turning to Sera. She’d already got her dress halfway over her head and stood arms crossed looking as if she might be about to burst into tears.

“Well you may be common but at least understand your place in these things, nice rack too, I think you can take your bra off as well. Lovely, the next game is going to be a variation of ‘pin the tale on the donkey’ that I like to call ‘spank the ass off the slut’”

Roderick let go off my arms and William sat down on his bed and tugged me over his lap and my knickers to my knees.

“If they think it’s clever to dress like slappers for their little friends let’s see if we can make them real ‘scarlet ladies’ Roddy” he said with a laugh and began to spank me. Hard, really hard I thought as I clenched my fists around the duvet, pointed my toes and willed myself not to squeal. I could hear Sera sobbing from across the room as Roderick doled out the same treatment.

“You Abbotts are just far too stubborn, but you’re not going to win this one because I can do exactly what I like to you and you’ll take it to protect your little friends. Maybe I’ll fuck you, I’d enjoy telling Hopkins about that.” He whispered, then trapped my thighs between his and mashed my head down into the covers. I tried to fight him but he had me pinned, I was vaguely aware that Roderick had stopped as I could hear Sera’s sniffles.

“Go on, make the little slut cry,” he hissed from the other side of the room and about thirty seconds later I did. Mostly because William was right, we were just going to have to take it, and I felt completely helpless to stop it.

I lay over William’s lap sobbing quietly and clenched my thighs as he tried to slide his hand between them. He slapped the backs of my legs hard making me kick and letting him get his hand in.

“Don’t fight,” he whispered as I started to cry again as he stroked my pussy. Biting my lip I did just that. William wasn’t my boyfriend- I hated him and I sobbed because it was still turning me on. As he teased my clit I was getting wet and only thinking of very unsexy things like the idea of Mrs Maker and Dr Higgins snogging stopped me from moaning. Then he stopped whispered “slut” in my ear and shoved me off his lap and onto the floor.

“I think the girls might like to console each other after their spanking, don’t you Roddy?” William asked.

“I’m sure they would, and if they wouldn’t, we certainly would enjoy it. Give each other a little cuddle girls.” Roderick demanded.

Sera and I stood looking at each other. She was a state with mascara smeared all over her face and I knew I must look just as bad but that wasn’t what stopped me giving her a hug. Neither of us were wearing anything except for our stockings and it was just too weird, I didn’t really know where to look.

“They obviously need a little encouragement” William laughed and whacked me across the bottom with what felt like a strap. Roderick was standing behind Sera with a small paddle and followed his brother’s lead and soon the pair of us were front to front because there wasn’t really anywhere else to go.

“That’s more like it now touch each other properly you little slags” Roderick ordered. I looked at Sera and tentatively put my arms around her shoulders in a hug. Then we both broke into hysterical tears. The whole thing was just so horrible and humiliating I couldn’t help crying, and neither could Sera so we just stood there hugging and crying.

“For God’s sake, you girls are worse than useless, it’s supposed to be sexy you twats” Roderick started slamming the paddle into my ass in frustration which just bought on a fresh flood of tears. He might think it was supposed to be sexy but I’d never felt less sexy in my life.

“I can think of something sexier, this is a waste of time” William growled and grabbed my hair forcing me onto the floor in front of him. I tried to calm down as he fumbled about but suddenly found his cock in my face.

“Open” he demanded pushing it against my lips as I shook my head.

“Do you want the whole school knowing it was you two that got them caught over your little party? I could tell them what a slut you are too, you were dripping over my knee a minute ago, or that you and Townsend are lesbian lovers, would you like that? Now open”

Miserably I opened my mouth and couldn’t help thinking that if he did ever tell anyone at least I could tell the world what a small dick he had. I half-heartedly started getting him off but did as little as I could. Sera was gagging on the other side of the room and I winced, this wasn’t what she deserved for her first time. William grabbed my tits and squeezed then started twisting my nipples between his fingers and I half squealed, half chocked on his cock.

“Don’t just sit there, I know you know what to do- Hopkins has been bragging about it” That did make me cry again because I couldn’t believe he’d tell William of all people. Automatically I started sliding my mouth up and down his cock and flicking at the underside with his tongue, maybe if he liked it he’d let us go. I could feel him swelling in my mouth and increased the speed, swirling my tongue round his head, anything to make it stop.

He didn’t last long. Suddenly he pushed me away, frantically wanked himself a couple of times and then came all over my chest. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry so just sort of looked at him. I grabbed the nearest thing to clean myself up, then realised it was my ruined dress and that set me off again. Behind me I could hear Sera muttering “gross” and spitting between sobs and reached back for her hand.

William managed to get up and stood over the pair of us, cock still hanging out of his trousers.

“That wanker Mallinson will be back soon so sadly we’ll have to bring the party to an early close. I think six with the strap each and maybe you’ll have learnt your lesson. Let’s have you first Abbotts, kneel on my bed with your knees wide apart, Townsend, you can go sit on Roddy’s lap and wait your turn.” William ordered and I moved mechanically over to his bed, kneeling up, knowing full well he could see everything.

I was really sore already so even the first one made me yelp but compared to the rest of the evening this was familiar territory. William’s aim wasn’t that great and he managed to get the back of my thighs but his power wasn’t that good either so it wasn’t complete agony. Just knowing it was almost over made it bearable.

I got up, thanked William whilst mentally crossing my fingers behind my back, then sat on his lap and buried my head in his shoulder so I didn’t have to watch Sera get hers. She was a lot more vocal than me but I was distracted by William’s mutterings.

“Just remember Cassie, no one turns me down and gets away with it. If you think this is bad bitch just wait for next time, you can’t keep running forever.”

I thought of William running and smirked, he was almost as slow as Pippa Beaumont, so maybe he couldn’t keep running but I could. As long as Simon didn’t find out it would be fine, I hadn’t really cheated, William had made me and that’s different. Roderick had finished with Sera and I could see why she’d been shrieking- three of the strokes were nowhere near her bottom.

“Now get out of here you little harlots, and if there’s another party we better be invited.” Roderick sneered. Sera pulled her dress back on and I suddenly realised mine was cut to shreds and covered in cum and looked pleadingly at William, surely he’d lend me something?

“No chance, you better hope you don’t run into Mallinson on his way home hadn’t you, I think you’re on his shit list already Abbotts.”

My bottom lip was wobbling and I was dangerously close to another batch of tears. Sera squeezed my hand

“I’ll check it’s clear then you can run to the bathroom and I’ll bring your dressing gown. I think we’re both going to need long showers after being around this filth anyway.”

I had three showers one after another and still didn’t feel as if I was properly clean. William’s words kept going around in my head ‘slag, slut and all the rest’ and I felt completely drained, just empty. I wasn’t sure I was going to feel clean again for a long time.

***************************************************

Pretty heavy stuff really...

Cruising for a bruising...

In which Rebecca goes to 'school'...or rather an exceedingly tedious work training course. Six delegates, one warm classroom and a woman who seemed determined to repeat things about six million times, whilst simultaneously not covering anything useful. I was quite good in the morning, took notes to stop myself nodding off and asked questions but by the afternoon I'd had enough and soon found myself mirroring the typical 'I'm bored and want to go home' behaviours I displayed through school and university:

• Glaring when anyone asked the woman a question - didn't they want to go home on time?
• Being exceedingly sarcastic when we finally got to do an exercise and it didn't work.
• Nodding continuously whilst looking completely blank.
• Playing with my iPhone in a not at all discreet way.
• Looking at the time every 30 seconds during the entire half hour the course ran over by.
  
• When she asked if there were any questions vigourously shaking my head, repeating this when she asked if there was anything else we needed to know and then nodding extremely vigourously when she asked if we wanted to go home.
• Complaining bitterly about how much talking there was and it running late to everyone else on the way out...
  

I do feel slightly ashamed but it was seriously dull. Training lady if you're reading this I'm sorry but seriously you can't talk at me for 8 solid hours with only one functional exercise - I was digging my nails into my wrists and still almost falling asleep. If it's any consolation I'm sure I'll get my comeuppance at some point!

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In which Rebecca almost causes a traffic accident. I was actually being very good and off on a run to train for my half marathon (am remembering just how far thirteen miles is :( ). The running shorts were quite small but not my smallest (best saved for thin days in a gym) and I was wearing a baggy t-shirt so all in all quite decent. Suddenly a coach slows down, beeeepps it's horn and the guy leans out of the window and gives me a thumbs up, causing the car behind him to beep because he almost went into the back of the coach. Rebecca stares at her trainers and jogs on, relieved when they both disappear down the road.

Unfortunately I then caught up with them at the traffic lights and the coach man honks his horn, gives me two thumbs up and shouts 'nice arse luv' (in case you were wondering he wasn't my lover). Sadly the lights change to green during this altercation, causing the driver behind him to beep again and give me serious evils....Rather embarrassing but I suppose at least no one got hurt. I think I'll just make a mental note to consign the really tiny shorts to the back of my wardrobe in case the pervy coach man makes another appearance...

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The lovely Eliane wrote about our little shopping trip last weekend and it being convenient to take along a friend with some topping ability. Sadly the boy interest did not approve of me being too toppy and is insisting that he's going to give me a taste of my new toy to remind me of my place...

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Last night the boy interest and I had dinner with two lovely kinky friends, which ended up in the poor Jessica and myself being turned over the boys laps for a spanking dice game. I should possibly add at this point that I'd already been whacked with a chopping board and wooden spoon before dinner (possibly just for being me). Jessica and I got a bit silly and thought it would be clever to hide upstairs when sent in search of a crop and cane - we actually only wasted about three minutes and nothing was said so I thought nothing of it...until the boy interest got me home and said he's going to deal with me tomorrow not only for being cheeky and disobedient - aaargh!

I think I just may be in trouble :-$

Debauched and deluded?

I recently got emailed the following question:

'Do you think you like roleplaying because you're unhappy with your own life?'

Which I thought was a bit cheeky, and for me isn't the case at all. In fact it's all pretty fantastic - I have a job working towards saving the world, which is what I've always wanted. I live in London with three fabulous flatmates, and although I complain about the commuting, smog and expense it's a great place to be as a youngster. I have wonderful friends of both vanilla and kinky persuasions and a social diary that often leaves me gasping for breath. I'd like to be thinner but on the right day in the right outfit I look pretty damn hot, and I'm training for a half marathon, which makes me feel happy. I have a boy interest who appears to be able to reconcile the vanilla and kinky Rebeccas and is lovely and nasty in equal measures (this is a good thing). I suppose in a perfect world I'd have a ten day week, earn more money, own a condo on some desert island or be off to run a refuge camp in Africa but even those things wouldn't all work at once. I also think that without the rain we can't appreciate the sun to the same degree - I'm under a lot of pressure at work right now but it's making me appreciate my playtime at the weekend and in the evenings far more. Right now just sitting in the living room with a gin and tonic at the end of the day is pretty heavenly, and I like getting so much pleasure from the little things.

I think enjoying roleplay is more about taking advantage of the chance to get into a different head space and to be someone else for a little while. Enjoying roleplaying as a schoolgirl doesn't mean you want to go back to school - for me it's more to do with the power dynamic, outfits, regimented structure and being able to be quite silly and have a laugh with the other girls if it's a group scene. Likewise I don't think I'd really want to be a medieval innkeeper's daughter but playing at being the innocent maiden taken advantage of by the powerful landowner is very hot. I suspect part of me actually might quite have liked to be a regency lady - the dresses, the food, the dancing and manners, a surprising interest in embroidery - it's all good fun. However being totally decadent and enjoying this isn't because I'm unhappy - being able to with wonderful friends is just an extra frosty bit on my big pink Rebecca cake (bad analogy, I know).

The other thing about roleplay is that it lets you adopt positions or dynamics that feel difficult or unnatural. I'm not really a wilting violet and have to be very comfortable with someone and have a lot of feelings for them to be very submissive, even if part of me wants to. Creating a scenario where your character is of a more pliable disposition or forced by situation to behave in a certain way can help to get around this. Some time ago we did a 'Story of O' type roleplay and in that context I was able to relax and do things that would normally evoke much more of a struggle. Playing that type of scene has built my confidence to play more submissively without the roleplay, which is also a good thing.

So in short Mr Email Man no, I'm not unhappy and hiding in a fantasy world to deny it. I'm me - I just sometimes get off on being someone else ;-)

Blogging in bed...

The end of the blog as we know it...

Let us have a moment's silence for Lowewood Academy, a fabulous school blog that has closed it's door to the curious public today after three years of tantalising CP aficionados with tales of school, sex, spanking and much more. Lowewood was one of the first blogs I read when I took my wobbly first steps onto the scene in August 2007 and reading it became a bit of a daily ritual. I was fortunate to be incorporated into the real Lowewood days that September and that's when Rebecca Williams was born - I needed a school 'identity' for the classroom. Had it not been for the corrupting and wonderful influences of friends I met through it I would still be far more sweet and innocent than I am today...

The great thing about Lowewood wasn't just the whackings, hot sex and high jinks of the pupils but that they were real. As a reader I still get outraged about the predicaments of various characters, even though my logical mind knows that they aren't *real*...but to us in a bizarre way they are. In real life all of the writers are equally fun, fabulous and scary (in appropriate proportions) and being even a tiny part of that world has been fabulous.

In March 2008 there was a 'Spank Idol' competition for new writers and on a bit of a whim I decided to enter. I'd been writing bits of fiction but had been far too scared to put them into a public forum, and thought it would be a bit of fun to write a piece set in Lowewood. It was then that the irrepressible Cassie Abbotts took shape - as Rebecca had been over Mr Shaftebotham, Reverend Jenkins and Mr Basford's knees in real life; and had giggled and plotted with Jessica, Beth, Sylvie, Pippa and Faye it hardly seemed right that they could know something entered into a competition was from me. Plus it would have been far too embarrassing if they'd thought it was total crap...

I was both terrified and over the moon when I got asked to write (and secretly quite chuffed at the emails from friends saying they'd no idea that Cassie had been me). That trial post got adapted into an actual Lowewood post later on and is still one of my favourites. Then came the challenge of keeping thoughts and story lines flowing from week to week whilst attempting not to enrage poor Jessica and Littlenic with my last minute panics and dubious grammar (they both deserve saint hoods - honestly!). Jessica in particular is a total legend and the blog couldn't and wouldn't have happened or survived for so long with anybody else at the helm - lots of credit to the girls and DrHiggins the technical guru.

Being even a little part of Lowewood (my admiration goes out to those who kept writing so many characters for so long - you all deserve a week on an exotic beach and lots of cocktails!) has been a fantastic experience, most of all because of the amazing people and friends I have met. I am still a bit in awe at the others writing talent and ability to surprise, enrage and get their characters to us so well, maybe with practice I will be able to do so as well. The tipsy plotting of whose character was going to do what with whom was brilliant and slightly crazy at the same time - Cassie's mother probably being a case in point!

Today is a sad day (made better by going out shopping with the lovely Eliane and the boy interest at the London Alternative Market...though not sure buying hitty things is a normal form of retail therapy. Part of me can't believe that Cassie has made her last appearance at Lowewood and that feels very sad sad - but she'll live on in her own way I'm sure. Part of me is looking forward to returning to some of the fledgling writing projects that preceded Lowewood - bring on the more random scenarios - a girl disguised as a ships boy and pioneers and covered wagons amongst other things - I always knew the history degree would come in handy at some point!

Introducing Lillie

I've decided the time has come to share a little fiction with you so meet Lillie (and yes, there will be spanking - just not today!)

"No no that just won't do you stupid child - I said the best cutlery!" She snapped, surveying the table I'd painstakingly laid for her luncheon with her odious friends.

"The best cutlery is only for special occasions." I replied tightly, trying not to glare at her. She doesn't like that - me glaring. It was true though, my mother's best cutlery had only come out at Christmas and on other important days.

"And since when were you the Mistress of this house?" She hissed, digging her nails into my shoulders. I looked her straight in the eyes and raised my eyebrows, somehow holding her gaze even when she slapped me around the face. Sometimes she needs reminding that this house didn't use to belong to her, even if does now.

"Just reset it!" She ordained before storming out; probably to powder her nose again. Reluctantly I set about redoing the table, though I have no idea why her friends need solid silver forks, sometimes I think she actually does it on purpose to nettle me. It's a shame that she's so successful.

You see, things weren't always like this. Father was a merchant captain but he'd moved into shipping and doing well for himself, before it happened he'd owned four ships. Mother was beautiful, always smiling and a fabulous pianist. He'd taken her with him on a voyage to the Caribbean trading, I'd been left behind. They say that pirates sunk his fleet but I don't suppose I'll ever know for sure. The only thing that was certain was that in losing them he'd lost everything, more than everything. Serious men had come and taken everything away, the cook and maid were let go - I guess that was the easy bit.

The complicated bit was me - what to do with a sixteen year old who suddenly has nothing in the world. The solution that I'd stay on as housekeeper to the new owners had probably seemed generous to everyone but me; after all I'm no more housekeeper than a clown in the circus. In reality I wish they'd thrown me into the streets, watching that vulgar couple in my parents house was excruciating. One thing was for certain, it couldn't go on much longer.

Soundtrack to play to...

I've been getting into the stride of running again, which has involved putting some serious thought into creating some new training playlists...songs for slow steady runs to keep me ticking along, fast stuff for sprints and the classic motivational tracks for when you think you're going to die (Eye of the Tiger anyone?).

This got me thinking about soundtracks to play to...

Britney's 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'

This one's pretty obvious really...

Catatonia 'Dazed Beautiful and Bruised'

'I've got my work cut out with you
You tore bits out of me
Your carpet burns and bruises blue
And there for all to see'

Natalie Imbruglia 'Torn'

"I'm cold and I'm ashamed, bound and broken on the floor'

Belle & Sebastian 'If You're Feeling Sinister'

"She was into S&M and bible studies
Not everyone's cup of tea she would admit to me"

Charlotte Church 'Call My Name'

"I like the sound of your shirt ripping
My will slipping under the table
I like the sound of your hand slapping
Your whip cracking, this could be painful"

She's a dirty girl that Church ;-)

I have possibly just come up with the cheesiest list ever...am now having very funny thoughts of certain gentlemen topping to those sort of songs (giggle!)

Pushing my luck

Is a habit of mine, and long may it reign. I don't want to become some sort of obedient doll who never questions, never teases or always does what it's told. I don't want to stop doing silly things like jumping in fountains, drinking too many cocktails, dancing on bars on holiday, misbehaving in playgrounds - all of that good stuff that makes you feel sparkly, happy and a little bit like there should be some sort of funky soundtrack playing!

Even so, I'm well aware that sometimes I push it a bit far, generally as a result of getting all over-excited and hyperactive and forgetting to think. In all honesty I'm a bit of a handful and accept that sometimes I deserve to be punished for it. More than that I actually need to dealt with because it gives me a sort of tranquility that everything is right in the world (when it's over - not when I'm bawling my eyes out). I wouldn't put up with someone who tried to punish me into long-term good behaviour though...ultimately it would lead to resentment and some hideous battles of wills, which I might win and then where would I be?

All of this can be a bit of a problem when it comes to attracting suitable boys...Suitable meaning the ones that don't take themselves deadly seriously and are overcome by a burning urge to spank me for every smart remark (they'd not have a minute left to breathe and I'd be permanently standing) but are strong enough to say 'NO' when I'm pushing it a bit far. For some reason I seem to scare a lot of boys (something about the backpacking, full contact kickboxing, career girl thing - I'm really all pink and fluffy!) and that's just not sexy.

The boy interest put down his foot on Sunday...I was being very cheeky and teasing him and soon found myself upended for a good spanking...followed by the strap, quite a lot of slapping about, a crop, flogger and some ouchy clamps. Horrible lovely boy. We fell in a heap a couple of hours later, feeling very played out. I was apologetic and back in good girl territory and he was very pleased with himself for having gauged it just right...after all, a few spanks wouldn't have earned him nearly that much peace and quiet ;-)